Heaven Knows….

heaven knows what these days shall bring..

I see myself going deeper and into the womb of the earth. There I find cool damp ground made of red clay and crystals. There lives the energy of the Goddess in all her finery, present and pure. The contrast of life mirrors fears, hopes, failures. Shows the way to that path I seek, I follow as I find my way again. There lives systers, mothers, children, lovers. All from the same tribal dna. We talk to animals, go for walk abouts. We journey to other spaces and nurturing places.

We search for each other, where we are free to be you and I….

Dancing, loving, breathing it all in.

Here I am, walking on, along my path, our path. Because my life is not complete without a community of loving womyn, all wanting to create a place where love is the scent of our home. Beauty is in what we all bring and create.

There we shall find solace and peace. There we find a place to lay our weary heads and cry and be held. There we shall release and continue to let go, trust again.

There I shall find myself again among others who hold us up, instead of tear us down.

Leave your shoes and the dirt from out there and feel the water rise around your naked bodies. Feel the healing of Mother Earth’s blood, water of divine life.

Fall and let go….

Indygo July 3, 2016blue Swirl (2)

Artwork by tracy

The Heat Is On

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June night of surrounding storms

Lately I have been watching the skies.   As the temperature warms up here, the storms amass.   What’s interesting is,  most of the storms pass just south or north of us.

 

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start of a rainbow

I love taking photos of nature.   It astounds me that I can capture some of the beauty and hold it for awhile.   It connects me with my feelings of that day, what took place.   It’s the same as a song.

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 I look forward to afterwards  as the wind starts blowing cool.

Recently the days have been still and hot!  There is nothing else to do but find a cool place to wait it out and do something quiet.

   Even Lily and Fanta sleep long hours in the heat of the day.   The birds are also much quieter and come out in the morning and later part of the day.

 

Until I take a look at the photo I have no idea what all I may have captured.   Here’s one where there are spirits all around.   As you can see the other photos I took in this group, there was no rain.   One is a very solid orb.    Pretty cool.   I think they love the wood sculpture of the Goddess. Tracy has been working on it diligently and it is looking very nice.

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Goddess at twilight with the Ancestors

Well the sun is setting and it is getting late.   See you another day.

Indygo

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

That was fun!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

We’re all in this together

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Here I am contemplating life again.

It is my favorite pastime.

  It must be in my DNA because the most important experience is to figure out what it’s all about, how the Universe works and so on.

 

I know I create my own reality.  I know many of us are addicted to drama or some misnomer that life is hard, the harder you work, the better your life will be.    Not so.

It’s all about matter, energy, molecules and how they vibrate.

  Everything has an aura around it!

  The actual energy frequency that surrounds us, it exists and is the underlying foundation of life.

  Figure out your frequency,

 how you vibrate and how to be more aware of how you feel.

  Only then will you be able to consciously create your life as you truly want it.

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   Let go of how to get there, that is what stops us.     We see the limitations in front of us, then we obsess on them. We try to figure out a way to overcome them.    We think if we focus more on the limitations, we will figure it out.   Yes that is part of it, but only the beginning.  Do not stay in the limitation but from that contrast, see life without it.

It is gone.

P00f!!!

Now move on and feel what it feels like to flow, like the rivers and streams.

The trick is to imagine life as kind, forgiving, loving..

  If I see the blocks and focus on those,

then there is where I will stay.

   I practice letting go of how to, where it comes from.

    I become aware that this moment is my life.

  How will I perceive it?

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  Will I see it as color, the shades of purples and blues?

Or will I wake up and see the grey and feel like that is all that exists?

   I choose.

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So I choose vibrant colors that are alive to me.   The rays that emit from these frequencies are life affirming.   Everything has a glow and a sound.       What does love look like?   Is it purple, red, green or blue?    What feels good to you?     Does it change like the wind?   Does it form and take shape like the clouds?   It actually does.   All starts from an unseen aura of color and sound.   What do you want your life to be colored by?

What is your song?

You can rewrite it over and over and there is no end.

Energy is eternal.

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It sounds so easy doesn’t it?

    It is only as easy as I am able to envision it being easy.

  The moment I change my focus on worry and how to get there is the moment I stop myself moving in that direction.

   So it goes.

   It all has a scientific explanation as well.  That is what is so wonderful about this science.  IT is real and it exists and can be proven in the physical world.

So,

if I am able to let go of my neurosis,

let go of worry, then I start to move toward that which is what I desire.

   I see the world around me in color, sound, light and movement.   Constantly moving, nothing ever stops moving. Life is little particles, molecules that are constantly being attracted or repelled.

  That which is liken to itself is drawn.

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So you see we all have complete control over our experience here in the physical world.  The trick is to realize that and then learn to control it, consciously.   Whether or not we know this Universal law, matters not to the Universe.    It is the law, simple.   That which you attend to persists.

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So how do we go about doing this?

  We have all learned in an ignorant fashion that life does not work that way.

You must work hard and don’t be lazy.  Don’t  be a dreamer, it only takes you away from reality and your quest at hand.   Not true.   If we were truly alive and connected to ourselves, we would know this is not true at all.

Dreamers, actors, visionaries are all what creation is all about.   Art, music, playing, seeing the beauty in a single day or moment, that is what the stars are made of.     Truly it is.

 

Most of us do not realize by knowing not what to focus on, we sort into the color that is more dominant around us.   Our color morphs into the nearest color, the most common color that surrounds us.  We have no idea that we do not need let that create us.

So choose that which sustains you in a vibrant and soothing manner.

   You decide what you will paint today.

Ahhh now that was a great write for me!

  How about you?

Indygo Wolf

June 2, 2016

Jae, Us and the land…

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This is  Jae.  She is our wise womyn, our esteemed elder.    She has a pure heart of gold and lives to make womyn’s lives matter.  A feminist, writer, syster, mother, she is a builder of dreams and holds the hope of a better way of living for womyn of our tribe.    In a cycle now where being a daughter is the ultimate love and sacrifice, she continues to work for womyn’s lands everywhere and keeps our  collection of womyn’s lands as her focus.

To be able to just be half of what she is, would be a blessing.

I met Jae through an email while searching for womyn’s land in New Mexico.   It was fate and prayers that brought us together.   Tracy had a large part to do with this meeting since she lives in Albuquerque and that is where I wanted to be.    I have had a dream to find some land, a community where we all had a main goal of the future.

Jae brings the strength of womyn’s land past.  She holds the foundation and roots of this sacred place.   All womyn’s land is sacred.   We all strive to live a simple life where freedom of spirit is the main focus.   Being womyn in a patriarchal world, especially a lesbian, is the ultimate prison for us.   Having a place to go where womyn’s ideas are treasured, is something else.   We create as womyn, commune as womyn and live, love and learn as womyn.   It is a unique experience outside of normal society,  where I can flourish, feel alive and learn to love myself and live again.

It is not always easy.   It is remote and takes getting used to.  It is of a different climate and learning to take care of myself can be a challenge.   Being at the beginning of a new venture, waiting for others to find us, and seeing that there is another way of living takes time. Having a new partner, lover and friend colors everything now.  Life can be intense but also sweet.   A newness I have not tasted in oh so long and is very welcome.   I am so very thankful for her.

I write to understand, put it all together,  become more aware of my limitations within a mind and heart that has a past, has its faults but still strives to be more.

 

 

I have loved the womyn who have come here to stay for awhile, see what it is all about, find a place to rest or put their own lives back on the right path.    The land can be very healing but also harsh.   Acute awareness of the wilds of my surroundings was not part of my experience.  Becoming more aware in all areas of my life blends and morphs into something more.

She….

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I am reflected in her eyes, how she sees, what she feels.   Her insight is eye opening, supportive and kind.   Forgiving is always the answer and allowing each other the space to grow, let go and move on is part of our lives as well.

The sweet walk on an early morning is very welcome and connecting.   Experiencing life in the raw, where the intensity of the wind and the changing sky can be a beautiful thing.   We watch the animals but especially the many birds.   We laugh at their antics and look up as the Ravens come and go.

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We watched the last full moon coming up over the mesa with a golden hue in the sky.  Then large ship looking clouds formed in the distance near the horizon.   The day faded and the twilight hours shared a light show with us.   Streaks of lightening in the clouds took over the skyline.   There were so many strikes it felt like a fireworks display that goes on and on. We heard no thunder, how very strange.   We looked on in awe and held each other  softly.   We felt  we were part of something magical, special.   Sharing that feeling….well maybe you know how that feels.

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Don’t forget to look up and see the sky.   Try to sit and be for awhile and watch the clouds form and flow.   Listen for the birds songs and what they are saying to each other.   Feel the wind in the trees and wonder what it is like to be a tree.    Remember, these are the important things in life.

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storm

 

 

 

 

 

 

Baby Fanta

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Baby Fanta

 

Life gets busy and before you know it, much time has come and gone.   I wonder, where did the time go?   Literally, I never know what time it is here.  The days just flow in and out of themselves like the clouds that color the sky; flowing is a big part of living here.

I welcome the different aspects of my life, sometimes here, sometimes there.   Either out on the land or in ABQ, I find the joys in the daily ongoings.     Sitting and watching the birds, or watching the landscape change as the rains come and go.    It is a unique way of looking at life, through the lens of the nature that surrounds us.     Us……we have a new member of our family now.   A little baby that wandered into our lives.  We did a bit of wishing and wanting as well.     She is blond, long haired and needed some lovin….don’t we all.

So wonderful to learn again the simple moments of watching a baby play.   There is nothing like looking through her eyes and seeing what she sees.   Times like these that make being an empath a very pleasant gift.

Fanta has the best personality.   She faces down Lily with her tail raised and her guard up!  Every inch of her fur stands on edge and she does this dance.   She hops up and down, tail out, fur out, forward she moves.    Lily ignores her mostly, jealous of the new addition to our home.   What wonderful days we live, what good lives we have.

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Awww the lazy part of life..
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I love my new home
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walkin on the wild side….

 

 

Yes it has been awhile since I have written.    It is part of my cycle, I ebb and flow.

There is so much to write again.  I have some stored up stories of our days here.   There have been new womyn on the land and that is always a plus.   Yes new womyn meeting each other, exploring other ways of living, being, relating.   There are challenges and pieces of pure bliss.   There are learning days with a curve.   Wells that run dry but then a new experience of how to fix a well and pulling up hundreds of feet of pipe and old windmill parts that go down over 5oo feet!    Wow, what a job that is!!   I am amazed at how the water comes so far up to the surface and the machines that have been made to successfully keep it pumping up.   The water is delicious, something I have not tasted since I was a child.   It is good clean, with minerals and all, liquid gold.    Mmmmm….I am so thankful for water and the life it gives to us, the plants, the animals.   How very important it is to have and everyone needs to think about this  these days especially.    How we pay so much for water when it used to flow fresh and free.    It is everyone’s right to have good, clean, fresh water to drink.   Think about how many of us do not have that right?!

I am so thankful for the well technicians, thankful for Jae with her limitless knowledge of the land, the people who keep it going, the womyn who love her so.   I am so thankful for the recent womyn who have found the Land and enjoyed its bounty.   I know more and more of you will come when it just gets too hard out there and you need some healing time.

Later you beautiful tribe of womyn….wherever you may be.

 

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Simply Sacred by Tracy

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Yoni Tree

Walking in sacred spaces has a definite feel to it, right?   Cathedrals or some churches feel like sacred space to me. Choya here in New Mexico feels sacred in a profoundly puzzling way .  Now I have been near what some here call a  portal.  Turns out I did not even make it through the entire rocky vulva of earth mother. Maybe this is not the only one ?

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Hawk above the Mesa near Yoni Canyon

 

 

I cannot climb to the top of her second small canyon,but I feel the mother calling strongly to me from up there. Oh to fly like a raven,why are we cursed to the surface?  To fly again freely like the life of a winged dragon; I remember it vaguely.  Wings catching the wind to look down on the mesa from above. To gaze on the Yoni canyon and the lights playing in her beautiful depths.  I will carry my needs, when I can finally go outside and be free again, a tent, water, food; all the way up that arroyo. Others have felt it too not just Indygo and I.  We felt the vibration get higher, felt those rocks vibrate.  To see the yoni tree, the most amazing sight we saw there. A Perfect female anatomy tree trunk so fantastic, her legs in the air. This lady of the yoni tree is sharing her femaleness with us. Nearby,  ancient people carved a large snake head in a boulder,their symbol for fertility. This land was fought over by the Native Americans before whites came. There is magic that comes from the land here from all the surroundings. Picking up heart shaped rocks and crystals on the way are her gifts. They fall on the ground before us like a trail of symbols.  Rocks are cracked in half yet standing together.  Suddenly the snake head appears all around, a big rock fallen on the ground in similar fashion to large boulders not shaped like snakes’ heads.  But once the snake shapes begin, there are soooo many snake heads,the size of melons or bigger.  As we proceed there is an island with a big ancient narly elder tree right in the middle. Huge boulders at the base jut out in the center, like a clits right to stand up and be worshiped.   Clit tree may become a painting but I need more time to sketch. We hiked that far by sheer will. We were not prepared for the journey yet we worked together and had an adventure we will never forget. It was worth a pulled muscle and a sunburn.

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We stack the sacred rocks in piles,  their beauty showing for  eyes to follow better. Texture and shape contrast and complement each other. The sandy bottom arroyo is a fantastic walkway. At times the sand is deep and smooth. I took time to sit on a massive boulder and wiggle my toes in it. Very healing.  The water has created pools there. They are sandy bottoms with crevices underneath the rocky perimeters 4 or 5 foot deep.  It is then when the land takes back its power, becoming a raging river canyon.  There is little humans can do but to wait it out. They are powerless. Now the dry canyon walls show years of a once raging river flowing over them, exposing the bedrock and creating pebbles in a myriad of color and  texture.

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natural Alter

Our hearts were full and our pockets as well as we stumbled back to Outland around noon that day. Our pockets were full of crystals and sticks. We arrived home hungry and dazed but incredulous of our adventure. This magical place once again shows us how little we know about this place of women for women. Outland is having a new tribe gathering. We are able to live in remote surroundings, away from men’s rules and ways. As each guest comes we recognize each other. We take care of animals, love the earth and birds. We are outsiders in our other lives but here we fit perfectly, as we watch hummingbirds and feed Ravens and Towhees .

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playing with rocks

I hope that the message finds our tribe members. Come to outland. Visit and experience a retreat. Recharge your happy self; heal with the wind and sky.    Sacred women’s land with free access for our tribe .

 

 

 

Owl Medicine

When I asked for Spirit to bring me signs and animal medicine, I did not know what would happen.

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One of Darlene’s Goddesses…fire

Late one night last week I woke up hearing a strange sound.  At first I thought it was the mice family in Mi Casa.   No signs of mice as I searched around the kitchen.  I was sure I heard the noise coming from there.   At 3am I found myself wide awake and so spent time on the couch while Tracy slept sound in the bedroom.

Finally tired I went back to bed.   The next morning as Tracy and I were making breakfast, I saw something moving in the water barrel outside the house.   Coal the bull had been there in the night and drank half the water in the barrel.   I rushed outside to see and found an owl had drowned.   The water was too low for it to get out.   With tears in my eyes I scooped the little bird out.  It was a screech-owl, full-grown.   I took it inside and wrapped it in my favorite wool cloth, a piece of a blanket we found on the Land in one of the casitas.

I was so upset with myself for letting the water get down too low.   What to do?

I needed to talk to Vickie who knew about ceremony with animals.  She had just performed a ceremony with the whale bones that had been gifted to the land many years ago.   The bones had been moved from their sacred place behind Towhee.   The last resident there had brought the bones inside the house.   Vickie felt strongly that they needed to go back outside where they had been placed so long ago.

She called all of us to do a small ceremony for the bones and the gifts they brought to the Land.   We stood in a circle behind Towhee where a small grove of juniper trees grew.   There we called in the four directions and Vickie said a prayer.   She asked Spirit to bless the land once again, to bring balance back to a place that had fallen into disarray.

Tracy, Darlene and I stood quietly as she spoke the words needed now.

It was a simple gesture but felt powerful and we all felt that something special was taking place on the land.    Womyn were starting to come again.   Volunteers had confirmed to come and work.   Visitors were set to come in the next few months.   We all felt the energy shifting and we were apart of a small miracle taking place on this wild land.

So when the owl came, at first I was so upset and sad.

I had to do something to make it right.   Vickie felt strongly a ceremony was needed.   I also knew that Darlene had strong Owl medicine.   She had brought feathers with her from a large owl.  She spoke of how they came to her, like a messenger on the wind.

I knew I had to bring the owl to her.  I headed up to Windsong with the little owl.   I was crying before I entered the home.   Darlene embraced me, knowing something was wrong.   I showed her the owl and she just stared at me exclaiming “Ohhhhh….”

We talked about what to do, how to go about honoring the spirit of the owl in my arms still.   I took her out and stroked her.  She opened her eyes that had been closed.   I realised that my strokes had opened the eyes, and looked at me as if she was alive.   She actually still felt somewhat warm, parts of her.  Her body was not yet stiff.   I continued to pet her, hoping for a miracle, but no.

I still felt life in her somehow and I could not explain why.

Darlene immediately said we needed to wrap it in a red cloth.  She explained about using the body, honoring the medicine that had come to me.   So I did.   I began to accept the gift, knowing that the spirit was already at peace.

Darlene showed me what to do with the claws.  I picked out two quartz nearby on the land near Windsong.   I curled them in her claws and wrapped them in sinew.   They would stiffen holding the crystals.   I had to use my cutters.  I became very calm and went inside myself, communing with the energy of the animal.   We spread the wings out and I used my cutters once again.    We sat outside and began the ritual of removing the skin, feathers and all.   As I was doing this I felt something round and hard inside the body.

It was an egg!!!  Imagine that?!  No wonder I still felt life inside her!!

Carefully I removed it.   Darlene was staring at me.  She explained how unusual all of this was.  Spirit was very strongly communicating with me, giving, showing, here.

Darlene and Vickie being there at this important time felt powerful.  They were my guides, my teachers, my helpers.   I was so thankful for their presence.

The egg was still soft and did not harden.   Even so I gently put it in a bowl of sand I scooped from the arroyo just below Windsong.   Maybe, just maybe…..

Then I was remembering about the mice.   How Tracy and I had discussed the problem.  I remembered discussing about predatory birds and how we needed more on the land.   We were told to put mice in the trees to lure them in.   So I did.   That is what brought the owl that night.  I had just put two mice I had trapped and unfortunately killed, up in the trees nearby Mi Casa.   I checked that morning, they had been taken.

I remember saying a prayer to bring the winged predators to the Land, perhaps somehow, I could raise a foundling to hunt on the land for us.   That would take care of much of the rodent problem surrounding the houses.   Was this a response to my prayer?

Hmmmm

My life was becoming very meaningful these days, in a way I had waited for.    Years ago I was told I had strong medicine with animals, the earth and the elements.  It had been passed down to me from my ancestors.  My own great-grandmother was a Mayan Medicine Woman.   I knew she was one of my guides and she helped me and was with me here.

So the little owl, did she give her life so I may learn about animal medicine?   What was owl medicine?    It is time to learn again.

We took the parts of the body and put them in salt, covered them completely.  They will cure for a time and then I will use them, make a fan, use some in a staff found on the land.  The claws will be used as amulets and I will honor this spirit by learning and listening and moving forward.

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Darlene
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Little Owl She made
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Darlene does not know how gifted she is….

Darlene also shared with me a morning prayer passed down from a Lakota Man.   Before he died he wanted to pass on his knowledge and secrets about ceremony and healing.   This was many years ago.   She says that he is telling her to pass on the knowledge to me now.   I am honored and wide-eyed.   I feel like a child, learning anew.

Every morning I now go out to greet the sunrise and say the morning prayer.  I give thanks for my life, the womyn who are my family now.   To all that is.

Thank you Spirit.

Thank you Owl.

I give many thanks to my tribal systers as we move through our days in a sacred way.

Aho!

Little Owl

One important note….Vickie came up with an ingenious idea to put a piece of wood inside the barrel.  So I did.   Now there is a piece of wood that sticks out of the barrel.  The bottom is weighted down by a large rock.  As the water lowers, the stick gives any animal a place to climb out to safety.  I am so thankful for you Vickie!!!